AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
