bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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