It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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