He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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