Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking