Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon