Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
