im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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