You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
