Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
