A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
