ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
