i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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