I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
