A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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