carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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