North Korea, Best Korea!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
