I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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