at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
