And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
