ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
