I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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