actually, I'm a sock model
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
