you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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