I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
handjob tips. give me some.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
