I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
