Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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