Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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