note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
