We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
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I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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