What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish I only lived at night.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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