But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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