I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
