I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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