She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
