your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
