lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I forget how to act sober
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
