If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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