just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
