I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize