It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
