Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
