I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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