don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Damn victory sex feels great
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
