But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
