If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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