I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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