Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
