We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
