You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
this will be a night to untag.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
