I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
