I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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