So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
