Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i think i just lost a toe
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
