summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Randomize
