remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
