It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
