Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
