I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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