READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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